The Truth About Runners

While not every runner will admit to some of these, this article was written by a bunch of runners from our local running club. We think they are all pretty accurate but if you have any to add, please do drop them in the comments at the bottom of this blog.

– When you are a runner, you spend your time clocking other runners to see if you know them. This applies even if you are in a different town/country!

– Runners always tie a double knot in their shoe laces. It’s like a pre-run ritual. God forbid, you single knot – that lace is going to come undone at some point. When preparing for a race, runners will double check that they have double-tied their laces.

– When out for a steady run or a local bimble, if you happen to overtake another runner, you must not slow down or stop until out of visual range. This may involve stopping in a shop, hiding in a bush or taking another path to get away to avoid them seeing how much this effort has taken out of you.

– Upon seeing another runner approaching, they will always correct their own form and put a bit of a burst in to ensure that they look like a ‘proper runner’. They will continue this facade until out of reach of the other runner/s.

– Runners are convinced they have less running shoes than they actually do. They don’t count the old pair for muddy trails, the pair that they keep for emergencies, the pair that they keep for special races. They also firmly believe that they need more pairs than they actually do and will justify every single purchase with a convincing story and utter conviction.

– They will run up and down several times outside their house just to make sure that they make up the distance to that next mile. They do not consider this strange in any way shape or form and cannot possibly put a run of 9.98 on Strava!

– A runner knows exactly how far 1 mile, 2 miles, 3 miles etc is from their front door in every direction but cannot tell you the distance from A to B in a car.

– Runners think bad things when a race marshal tells them they are nearly there. We are not nearly there – we are sometimes not even halfway. We need to hear the facts – how far is it to the nearest 0.1 of a mile?

– Runners will tell you it is a cheap hobby. Running is not a cheap hobby. Every runner has at least one pair of running shoes, an activity watch, a few books about running, a Strava subscription, several items of clothing including a race vest and hydration gear and that doesn’t include the race entry fees.

– An injured runner should be avoided at all costs. Never ask them about their injury, never discuss your own running and never ask them if they want to go for a run! Do so at your own risk.

– When taking a tumble, no matter how severe it is, a runner will always reach for their watch to pause it and ensure they don’t lose the run!

– Runners love talking about running. Never ask a runner what they are training for, if they have ever run a marathon or what the furthest they have run is. You don’t have enough time for that.

– When diagnosed by a physio or doctor with something that requires rest and recovery (including a broken leg) the first question a runner will ask is “but when can I run?”

– Runners can spot other runners when dressed for running by the way they run but will fail to recognise them in their normal clothes in a supermarket.

– Food is no longer measured by calories – instead it is measured by miles – 1 mile is one small glass of wine – 5 miles is a bottle or a decent sized piece of cake. 11 miles is a small Domino’s pizza. A marathon equates to eating absolutely everything you can see for the next three days.

– A runner that has been running for more than a few weeks/months will understand the rule of releasing the bowels before going out of the door. New runners will learn the hard way.

– And on the subject of bowel emptying, a runner will know where every toilet is, and when there are no toilets, the best bushes or spots in the woods for urgent relief! A seasoned runner (of the female variety) will also have learnt to pee without removing her shorts!

– If a car stops to let you cross the road, you can bet your bottom dollar that they are also a runner or have been at some point in their lives.

– They are the only people to think that it is perfectly normal to exercise at 4am!

– Runners will complain they are too tired to cope with the demands of housework and instead will put their trainers on and go for a 10 mile run!

– When a trail runner says they are going out for a quick run, it actually means they will be back in about 4 hours!

– Going to bed at 10pm (latest) on a Saturday night is mandatory especially when training for a marathon or ultra marathon. The difference is a marathon runner will give up alcohol during training, an ultra runner won’t!

– Most of us live for cake. We will run then meet for cake, we will always use cake to raise money for charity, we will discuss cake, and we will even stop during races for donuts! We can actually prove this last fact! Take a look below.